December 23, 2002

-Laughter and Smiles-

Another thing or two we can learn from children: delighting in the pleasure of the moment, the joy of sharing, the laughter and smiles that bring pleasure to all. Children laugh as many as 300 times a day while adults are much more serious with only 15 laughs per day. The gift of laughter is specific to humans, and what a great gift it is, yet we subject this precious gift to disuse and misuse.

But not at Better Beginnings: this week the joy has increased: the halls have been filled with laughter, giggles of anticipation, and spontaneous bursts of song.

I was very serious when I started at Better Beginnings. The children did teach me to enjoy laughing and smiling. They made it easy. Luz Nereida Horta, the present Executive Director, taught me not to take myself and my perceived "professionalism" so seriously, and Liston Abbott, Board Chair, has been a constant source of humor. I am indeed blessed. My daughter, Jaymie, too, brings me great merriment. She is gifted with natural wit.

When I was going to my car after a shopping binge this weekend, a grown up adult was skipping and jumping and shouting with joy. Her two companions were walking behind her, smiling, looking slightly embarrassed. I shouted, "Be of good cheer! ‘Tis the season to be jolly.!" Strangers though we were, we all enjoyed and delighted in the moment.

There is even evidence that laughter not only heals, but also contributes to longevity. So why not join me now in a big "Ho Ho Ho"!

-Santa is Alive and Well-

And, yes, New Jersey, there is a Santa. He is the spirit of loving and giving, and lives in the hearts of people. Where there is caring and generosity, he is alive and well. For a while, It appeared that the Grinch had surely stolen Christmas. Unlike other years, there was not one toy for Santa to distribute at Better Beginnings' Christmas Party. There were some gifts for the classrooms, but individual gifts were not there.

We were not surprised that there was less than usual. After all, contributions and donations to non-profits have been way down in the past two years. We were surprised, however, that there was nothing.

-Santa's Helpers-

Pete Bussone and his lovely, talented wife, Kerrie, had delivered stockings with each student's name inscribed thereon, along with a gift certificate for every staff member. Clara Martino and George Medary, at our suggestion instead of candy, had provided an apple to fill the toe of each stocking. But other than that, nothing. In past years, there had been an outpouring of toys and clothing. This year - nada. The Hightstown Police who collect toys for the children had also gotten very little. In keeping with our own philosophy, what they have collected will go to the most needy.

Because the poorest of the working poor, but proud and determined, receive first priority in admission to the center, it follows that some of our families barely have enough for food and shelter. This Santa visit is very meaningful. We cannot bear the thought that any child would feel overlooked by the dear old man.

All right, we thought, we can make a foray on the dollar store and buy some creative materials to fill the stockings. We just needed some money.

When Pete Bussone heard this, he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out his checkbook. He wrote a check for a very generous amount of money. When another Board Member took this news to Comcast, they went out and purchased a gift for every child. Then, "Mr. Jonathan" Craig came in with a large check, contributed in his honor by Trinity Church, to be used at our discretion, as needed.

And, then, as if our thoughts had taken wing, gifts and contributions began to arrive in bunches: gift certificates for two families from the Elks; generous contributions from Susan Lloyd and Nancy Laudenberger; gifts and other goodies from Delores Murphy, toys and more from Mothers and More (facilitator, Mrs Hoffman); hats, gloves and socks from Dutch Neck Nursery School (teacher Pat Lawler), paper goods and canned food from the 7^th Grade Blue Team at Melvin H. Kreps School (teachers: Mrs. Diane Scinto, Mr. Dan Galvaro and Mrs. Cathi Marchuski), toys from NAI Commercial Real Estate Services (facilitator Lisa Pereira), gifts from Nativity of our Lord Church (facilitator Phylis P. Smith), gifts from Dave & Marlene Moore, $480 in Shoprite gift certificates from Minute Maid (facilitator Linda LaVally); cookies for everyone from Mark Megee family), much needed paper goods from Tamsen Granger; gifts from Howard Scarborough Senior Center (Coordinator Amy S. Bauman), food, toys and contribution from Mary and Charlie O'Reilly; and a complete computer system from C. Reginald Bishop (via "Mr. Jonathan"),

So, yes, New Jersey, there is a Santa, and he lives, still, in the hearts of people who love little children and enjoy seeing them happy and healthy. They are legend in our community, making it a wonderful place to be. We meet the best when they cross our threshold.

Many believe that the best gift to our children and families is to help assure that our service remains viable for them, and have asked us to use their contributions for that purpose. For that, we are very grateful, too.

Vive La Snta.

Joy to the World!

December 17, 2002

I hope you are enjoying the holidays.   Why is that so funny?   Is it because everyone is stressed out?   The kids are rambunctious?   Other people’s expectations are too much for you?  You have lost the true meaning of the holiday?

If you are thinking that you’ll be glad when it is over and you can return to “normal”, chances are you (and those around you) are suffering from holiday stress.

Relax, stop taking yourself so seriously.   A sense of humor and a good joke can be good for your heart.  No less than the American Heart Association says so.  If you are a perfectionist with a script for a perfect holiday, ease up a little.  Throw away the script.  Setting unreasonable expectations for yourself and others is a sure fire way to add stress anytime, and especially for those holydays, oops, wrong spelling.

Exercise reduces stress too.  Take the kids outside and play a game.  If you don’t have any kids, borrow some.  Chances are you’ll reduce their parents’ stress at the same time.  

Gift buying got you down?  Take a deep breath.  Go through the list again.  Take a page out of our teachers’ lesson plans.  Adopt a theme.  For instance, one person I know bought EVERYone on her list a cd.   It was country music for one, a portable cd for another, and a computer game for someone else, and so on.  It sure cut down her hair tearing time.  

Go off beat.  A family member has just returned from an Israel Fair.  Since not too many people are visiting the Holy Land this year, Israel is bringing products to this country in a series of fairs.  She found many unusual and beautiful items and finished up a LOT of her shopping on the spot.   There are many other offbeat resources including Church fairs, craft fairs, the supermarket (Yes, for real, these days I think you could find something for everyone on your list in the supermarket or drug store.)   Or you can make something yourself:  whatever you wish:  you can bake cookies, make a gingerbread house, crochet a scarf, craft a wreath.  Involving the children and whole family adds to the joy.  Such gifts are much appreciated because so much of the giver is involved.

Another deep breath.  Uh oh.  I haven’t finished my own shopping yet, and there is the decorating to be done.   Have I procrastinated myself into an anxiety-ridden corner?  Oh well, there are always gift certificates, and only I will know if I don’t have everything decorated the way I had planned.   By now you may have gathered that deep breathing is a favorite stress release of mine.  To each her own. 

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Are we having fun yet?  “How about paying attention to what’s really important in your life and ultimately what will impact your well-being: lots of laughter, lots of love and a great deal of time spent with people you really like.”  Loretta LaRoche

If you are still searching for the right item, you may be in the right place.

Please consider a contribution to Better Beginnings’ in the giftee’s name.  Add the blurb about sending certificate and a little gift.  Etc.

Also remember that if you want to avoid the mad rush, you can buy online.  If you shop through Igive.com Better Beginnings can be gifted too, if you designate us.   

Ring a ding ding

December 04, 2002

Kids can teach us a thing or two or three. At enjoying the moment, delighting in the small miracles of the day, they are superlative. They are pretty good at the giving game too. At loving and sharing joy, they are masters. The first sentence most children write is "I love you."

-The Spirit of Giving-

Now we are into the season of loving and giving. Many generous people give to the children, wanting to assure that they have a happy Christmas. "They are what it is all about," they say. I agree. I love their happy laughter and the joy they share with us. When food and shelter are at a premium, many would have very little but for the generosity of our community friends. I love that spirit.

Of course, we also want to give children a chance to experience the inner joy of giving. Soon they will be happily at work making gifts for family members and friends. My all time favorite gift, still treasured, is carefully wrapped and tucked away in a drawer. I take it out and look at it now and then. It is an imprint of my daughter’s little three-year-old hand set forever in plaster of paris. I loved it then and I love it now.
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-Making Gifts reinforces the Spirit of Giving-

The tip suggested that we could instill a giving nature in our kids. I would substitute the word "encourage" or better still, "reinforce" for the work "instill". Some of the ideas we have are to visit the elderly or encourage them to visit us, make and give baskets of cookies, and to make gifts for family members and friends. We make very sure that the children are the ones who actually make the gift, or the child misses the joy and self-esteem derived from making and giving. One year my very honest little girl presented me with a gift. She said, "Here, this is from the school. They said it is from me, but isn't. I didn’t have anything to do with it." Oooooooops. Supervise, yes. Interact, yes. Do it for them? Please, NO. When we do it for them, we might just as well say right out loud, "You are incompetent."
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-Some ideas for gifts young children can make-

• Stamping with apples or potatoes. This can be on paper or on a shirt or tote bag.
• Bookmarks made from the child’s artwork, laminated if possible.
• Sand art plastic bottles (such as Minute Maid’s).
• Collage or Painted plastic bottles.
• Pen holders which can be cans that are painted or collaged.
• Craft stick picture frames.
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-Penny Pincher-

All of the above can be personalized. Penny Pincher, needless to say, loves these ideas because most of them re-use items and are inexpensive to make. Of course they are invested with child power, a gift of their time and love, and hence are "priceless".
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-Magic Word-

Encouraging children to be courteous update: A friend writes that her daughter asked for something without saying, "Please." When my friend asked, "And what is the magic word?", the child replied, "Hocus Pocus".
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-Gifts for Kids-

Whatever else you choose to give your child, please consider including some creative materials: new crayons, chalk, paints, markers, brushes, paper, glue and glue sticks, stamps with stamp pads, clay, pencils. Children never seem to get tired of these, their creativity flourishes, and oh, yes, they can use them to make thank you cards.
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Thank you and best holiday wishes to everyone who makes it possible to enjoy our 35^th year of providing affordable child care to our community.