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BETTER BEGINNINGS
PENNY PATTER
February 24, 2003
- Teaching is Classy -
You are a teacher. Maybe it is not your profession, but teach you do, and teacher you are. Regardless of whether you are aware of it or intend it: you are teaching. Your classroom is where you are; your material is your choice. This is true for everyone, but more so if you are a parent.
You are teaching, even when you are not near a child. The adults around learn from you, too, and you from them, in a kind of cyclical, non-campus mentis, adult education course.
- A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops. -
What we teach is up to the individual. I am hoping that for at least part of the time, we are teaching loving kindness. When driving, for example, especially with a child in the car, I hope we do not teach one-half of a peace sign, (also known as flipping the bird), even if that does take fewer muscles than a smile. Boost it up by half, at least, and make it a full peace sign. A couple more and it could be a friendly wave. Adult-to-adult, adult-to-child, Child-to-adult, or Child-child, a friendly wave makes a happier, more peaceful atmosphere in which to live, learn and grow. This is a personal preference for me: rage, angry confrontations, and the like scare me and make me feel very uncomfortable. I invariably find them unproductive and often destructive. Rage and anger just seem to fuel each other and escalate. This is true, even if I am the one who is angry. I am happier when I remember to take ten deep breaths, and calm myself.
I used to think I was teaching when I called some children to circle and explained a concept, or when I set up learning stations for the children. As a naïve first-year teacher, a bright light came on when I read that the children were learning from me even when I wasn’t formally teaching. In fact, I read, my students were probably learning even more from my casual "non-planned" behaviors than from my more formal presentations. This came as a bolt from the blue for me. For example, if I expected them to be considerate of each other, was I modeling considerate behavior in my interactions with them and with my colleagues?
Some acts of kindness we might look for: Do I encourage, bring joy? Do I listen respectfully to a child's words? Am I cheerful? Do I throw my trash in the container, and pick up other trash from the ground? Do I let someone in front of me in the traffic lane? Do I compliment the new, nervous supermarket checker on an efficient job? Do I plant flowers and trees? Do I save a dog or cat by adopting it and loving it? Do I leave water for thirsty animals when it is freezing, and when it's hot? Do I work hard every day to make the world a better place in such ways? Do I do my very best to treat others, child or adult, with dignity and respect?
-"Children have more need of models than of critics." Carolyn Coats, Author –
I wholeheartedly agree with Ms. Coats, trusting, of course, that we are good role models, at least most of the time. I frequently see people behaving nicely. Maybe you will want to point out to your child when you observe someone behaving in a positive and considerate way. "Did you see how kind that person was to let someone ahead of her in the super market line." "Did you notice that child sharing her toy?" "Did you see that woman feeding the birds?" Better yet, you may choose to comment to the kind person that you notice and appreciate their thoughtfulness. This courtesy thing could spread. Courtesy rules!
- Dr Seuss Teaches with Rhymes -
Don’t forget to role model reading. Dr. Seuss’ birthday is coming up, March 2, and the month of March is Literacy Month. Let children see that you love reading.
- Penny Pincher Teaches that Recycling Makes Cents -
Penny Pincher believes that recycling is a kindness to our earth, to ourselves, and to each other.. She is constantly aware of ways in which to re-use an item. Liston Abbott brought her a stack of mouse pads, which were being discarded because of a tiny misprint. The Pincher immediately thought of a half-dozen uses for them (such as cutting them into shapes for the children to use as stamps). Liston is so droll. He said, "And if none of that works, they can be always be used as mouse pads." Only then did she realize that he had brought in just the right amount for us to use with our computers.
From now on, the Pincher intends to mention the use for which the item was originally intended. For example, she might say, "Here are some uses for a brown paper bag: It makes a really handy container in which to carry, say, your lunch. It can also be made into a puppet. It can be decorated and used for gifting."
- Master Teachers of Sharing and Caring –
Twenty-one Junior and Senior Highs at First Presbyterian Church of Hightstown raised $1,451 for the hungry, during their 30-hour famine. In addition, Laurie Lott, their leader, explains, the youth brought attention to the needs of others, and experienced for themselves what real hunger is like.
Sunny Young Deli and customers collected 2,900 pennies for Better Beginnings, bringing the total penny or equivalent collection to date to 1,479,280, with $360.44 for the upgrade of the children's playground.
Joel & Judith Larsen continue to provide a generous contribution to Better Beginnings every month.
"Mr. Jonathan" Craig, for Trinity Church, continues to share many goods for the children, including toys, a magnet, tricycles, mittens and socks for cold winter days.
Jerome Cupples, "one of ours", donated many CD's for the children.
Jean Hutchinson and Betty Holonics, of the First Presbyterian Church Helping Hands, find many ways to help. They are a conduit for materials like paper, collect coins, and save items for us too. Jean has drummed up much music-making material, such as coffee cans, oatmeal boxes, and more.
Jean is once again chairing the blood drive at First Presbyterian, scheduled for May 9. Sharing life's blood is a great kindness; organizing the drive is another.
-Teach me a Thing or Two-
If you have an idea for the Penny Pincher, if you would like to report on a random act of kindness or a teachable moment you have observed, if you have a comment, an idea, or a question, please write to me at BeWith@Mail2Peace.com, or POBox 187, Hightstown, NJ 08520.
February 18, 2003
-I've Been Working on the Railroad-
I am in a world of trouble. My reputation as the source of good things is in jeopardy. It started when "Mr. Jonathan" Craig brought me an early version of my all time favorite book promoting the "can do" philosophy. Yes, the Little Engine that Could. To my delight, I also found a version in Spanish. I thoroughly enjoy reading a story to the children in tandem, that is, I read a page in English and one of our Spanish-speaking teachers reads the same page in Spanish. At a yard sale, I acquired a little four-piece wooden train. With a few ideas for artsy follow-ups, and some more ideas for math concepts, (shapes, counting wheels, etc.) my little road show was underway. I traveled from classroom to classroom, and had the children chanting, "I think I can, I think I can." Wow, what a winner.
-Super Dooper Institute of Engineering-
Then, I hit the Super Dooper classroom. It turns out there are a host of train devotees in that room, spurred it seems, by "Thomas". They were absolutely enthralled, especially The Chief Engineer, an energetic, enthusiastic little guy named Keith. That is when I got the rep for being the purveyor of good things. Such a designation, let me say, is very captivating. He found the opportunity, several times during each day, to stop by my office and push the little train around on my desk. His eyes would totally shine. This was some six months ago. Finally, of course, I transferred the little train to that classroom. Day after day, the little guys played with it.
-eee-yi-eee-yi-oh NO!
Now, Keith informs and shows me that the little train is broken that I need to replace it. I will surely look for one, I tell him. "Well," he responds, "Where did you get that one? Go there and get another one." (Don’t you love his logic?) Well, I tell him, I got it at a yard sale. "Well," he instructs me, slowly and carefully to assure that I understand, "Go to the yard sale and get another one." "Yard sales are only in the summer, honey", I tell him, not knowing how to inform him that items found at yard sales are pretty much a one-time thing. "Summer is when it is warm," I tell him, "and it is very cold now," slowly and carefully, to assure that he understands.
You know kids. The very next morning, which is today, the coldest day of the year, his first question is, "Do you have the train?" Oh boy. I am going to be asked about this every other minute from now until I finally find another one somewhere and somehow.
Excuse me, I am going now to search the internet. I found the book in Spanish on the internet. Maybe I can find a little wooden toy train, too. Hopefully, it won’t be too expensive and will be on the sort that lasts through lots and lots of energetic, enthusiastic play. I think I can. I think I can.
-Do you hear the Whistle Blowing?-
If you can spare a little time each week, you, too, can become captivated. As a volunteer, you can encourage, share, read, play, interact, enjoy. You are needed! Climb Aboard!
-While we’re on that track-
Probably you recognized in the little engine story, some of the techniques of pre-and emergent literacy: reading to children often, making it fun, tying it into the children’s interests, making it rhythmic and repetitive, playing the cross-curriculum card. A good idea, also, is to have the children dictate a story about the train, print it up and then ask them to “read” it. We also like to label items around the room with their “names” in Spanish and English. That helps all of us who are trying to be bilingual. You can do all of this, yes? See, si, you CAN be a “literacy mentor” for children learning to speak and read in a second language. I think you can. I think you can.
-Life is Just a Box(car) of Crayons!-
We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors ... But they all have to learn to live in the same box. Thank you to the anonymous someone who sent this saying to me.
-All Aboard the Sharing & Caring Train-
The Junior Friday Club of Hightstown and East Windsor started the very same year that Better Beginnings did. They have been constant friends, donors and advocates. One unique and very special tradition they started. For Valentine’s day, they prepare an individual gift for each of our single Moms. They recognize that raising a child alone can be difficult, and that special “sweetheart” days can be particularly lonely. This year, in addition, the Juniorettes, a recent addition, make a Valentine’s Day gift for each of Better Beginnings’ children. This is such a heart-to-heart remembrance, and great way to let the single Moms know that they are loved.
-Gifts that Don't Cost a Cent – The Caboose - (unless dear readers send in more)-
The Gift of a Compliment: A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.
The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition: The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, or even just a smile.
-Penny Pincher has the ticket to ride-
Cardboard boxes, we have aplenty, and they make great free toys. Make tunnels and caves to crawl through. Draw or paint on windows and doors to make a house. Add paper plates for tires and steering wheel for a car. With a little ingenuity, make a puppet stage. With several, say four, string them together to make a train!
-Won’t You Blow Your Horn!-
I love to hear from you. So does Penny Pincher. So put in your two cents worth. Some columns have resulted from readers’ ideas and questions. E-mail bewith@mail2peace.com, or Snail Mail POBox 187, Hightstown, NJ. 08520.
February 5, 2003
-Hearts at Half-Mast-
Everywhere I go, I see flags at half-mast. Another layer of sadness has been added to our composite psyche. We grieve, for we have lost seven of our bravest and best. We empathize with the loved ones who, waiting with anticipation for the victorious return of their heroes, suffered such a sudden blow.
I am sad. I mourn. But most of all, I am filled with admiration for those who were living their dream to the fullest, who dared to venture forth, to be all they could be, to abundantly fulfill their potential, to leave the world a better place.
The most fitting memorial, perhaps, is for each of us to identify and follow the call of our own dreams, to take the risk of exploring our own inherent talents and aspirations, to experience the joy of achievement, and to help assure that others have that same opportunity. We can start, this very day, by making sure that we are enjoying the life we lead and expressing the love we feel for others. For at least a small period of time, today, no, each day, let us take some time to do something in which we purely delight. For that moment, let us send a thought skyward, "This I do in memory of those who lived and died splendidly in service of humankind, doing that which brought them such great satisfaction."
Our contributions in fulfilling our own destinies may seem small in comparison to strapping our dreams to a rocket, but are as important in context of the whole. Like a watch or clock, each tiny component, spring and dial contributes to the smooth functioning of the total mechanism. What is your part? Most likely, it is the thing that comes easiest to you and which you most enjoy doing. Now is the time, and this is the moment. Tick......
-Children are Affected-
On that Saturday morning, when the break-up hit the screen, many children were watching their “Saturday Morning Cartoons”. Parents, I hoped, would move into their reassuring/protective mode. The effect, of course, would vary according to the child’s involvement and experience. Children of those in the military, children who have recently lost a loved one, children working on some of the experiments aboard Columbia, for instance, would feel it most, and would hopefully have professional counselors available, if needed. Others might want to refer to the Six “R”s we posted after 9/11. See http://www.princetonol.com/groups/bbcdc. For a copy, call 609-448-6226, or email me at bewith@mail2peace.com. For more about helping children cope with crises, see
www.familyeducation.com/article/0,1120,20-25598,00.html
What
may be surprising, however, is that some children are not affected; are, in
fact, completely blasé about the whole thing.
TV is something like water and fire.
It can be helpful, for example, teaching children the alphabet
and even character values. But in
excess, it can be damaging. For one
thing, TV violence can desensitize us, especially children, to real violence.
For another, children have difficulty distinguishing between what is real
and what is fantasy. One of our
tasks is to give guidance in discerning the difference.
When TV presents the real (the news) and fantasy (TV horror shows) side
by side, the child can become confused.
When the child sees the hero
killed in one show, and pop up again alive and well in another, it adds to his
confusion. Little wonder that some chidren did not take the tragedy
seriously!
Psychological
research, in fact, indicates that three major effects of seeing violence on
television are Ö
Children
may become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others Ö
Children
may be more fearful of the world around them. Ö
Chidlren
may be more likely to behave in aggressive ways towards others. There
is also good news: it appears that
the damage is reversible. Limiting
and monitoring tv watching (as well as violent videotapes and games), watching
shows together and discussing feelings, real and fantasy, and posing “what
if” and “how would you feel” questions can have positive effects.
As a positive aside, less TV allows time for reading, socialization,
games that develop thinking skills, and physical exercise. See
“Children and Television Violence” at http://www.abelard.org/tv/tv.htm. -Heroes
come in all sizes. Our community is full of them.- -On
Being Hungry-
I have seen a child's hand shake when she lifted her spoon to eat a bowl of cereal. We learned that she had not eaten since her afternoon snack with us, eighteen hours before. Her only food for a week, in fact, had been at Better Beginnings' table, where we serve breakfast, a morning snack, lunch and a p.m. snack. The family, it turned out, was living in a car, with no money for food or housing. We were so glad to be able to find resources for them, and they were soon on their feet again. We didn't have to look long or far, because Hightstown/East Windsor is a very caring community. Imagine what it would be like to have no-where to turn.
-A Famine? Here in our Community?-
The Junior and Senior Highs at the First Presbyterian Church of Hightstown (also Better Beginnings' '"home") are going on a 30-hour famine during the weekend of February 21 and 22. In this way, Laurie Lott, their leader, explains, they bring attention to the needs of others, and experience for themselves what real hunger is like.
During the 30 hours these young heroes will be having games, discussions, movies, and a Service Project. All young people are welcome to participate. We can help by bringing non-perishable food donations to the First Presbyterian Church and leaving it in the Narthex during the month of February. Last year they collected 32 bags of food, and would like to increase it this year. Are there very many poor and hungry in our area? Ask the Community Action Service Center. The food will go to the Center's food bank, where shelves are running on empty. It has been a hard year and a hard winter for the poor. For more information, FPCH 448-0055.
-Sharing & Caring-
Tuesday is Paper Day at Better Beginnings. We can use paper of all kinds: toilet, tissue, construction, copy, napkins, even paper money. We use many other materials and items too. Here are some we received during the last couple of weeks:
"Mr. Jonathan" Craig, for Trinity Church, brought many items, including a winter coat, globes, books, videotapes, much play equipment, a horsey, a play center and a vanity set. He also brought some brand new children's shoes. What a boon. Then, when I mentioned that some of our young students needed hats, gloves and scarves, he came back that same day with several cartons filled with these warm necessities.
One of our graduates, Christine Gabriel, brought blocks, valuable for math and science exploration. We love being remembered in this way. Karen McGuinness also has graced us with many items, including musical CD's. And Laurie DePino, and the DePino Family, have also shared many toys and games. Dale & Gary Grubb are helping us close the digital divide by donating a computer; and once again Charles, Diane & Colin Gasman have donated many items, including toys. Many thanks for all. You are making a difference.
Mr. Simon Juricic is another of our "everyday" heroes. He plows the snow so that we can keep our program going. Another is Thomas Olsen of Olsen's Lawn and Landscape, who has assisted with removing some shrubbery so that the children's play area can be expanded.
Ondina and Wilfred Jeffers take paper day seriously, adding a "paper" check contribution once a month in addition to donating other paper goods. Arlene Banks is a regular, too, finding many ways to lend support; this time bringing toys.
Pennies are starting to roll in again, for a total of 1,465,380 in total cents, of which 231.44 is dedicated to the playyard improvement project. Thank you Sunny Young, Jenny's and the Twin Rivers Community Trust for your help.
-“Two More Gifts that Don't Cost a Cent "-
The Gift of Laughter - Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
The Gift of Solitude - There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.
-ACNJ Update-
The first report "BEYOND THE CASELOAD COUNT: DYFS Staffing Crisis Is More Than Just Numbers" is on the ACNJ website now for you to read! Visit the Association for Children of New Jersey at www.acnj.org or www.kidlaw.org and look for the Policy Brief in "Recent Additions"!
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